I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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