My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize