you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just googled if crying burns calories
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
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I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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