We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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