Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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