Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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