Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
