there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
