; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
