It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.