Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now