I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates