Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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