I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
