i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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