Duck Duck Cougar?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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