from now on my penis is your penis
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
