Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
