i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize