he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
