I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
