I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
