I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
