He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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