You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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