i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
