hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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