is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
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I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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