the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
