the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
