Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
