I drank myself into bisexuality again.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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