Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
