I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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