Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
