her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
