its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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