I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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