Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
