and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i permit you to call me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
