he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
wow bdsm is so cute
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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