dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
