I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize