so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
