Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
