we're blogging at a bar
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
