I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
