Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
