I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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