Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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