she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
