Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize