He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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