I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
