I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
