she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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