Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
