I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
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I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
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There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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